What Makes Love and Marriage Last?

From time to time in any loving relationship, things can go awry. People who love each other get angry. They yell at each other and say hurtful things. We all make mistakes in judgment. Sometimes we show our dark side to the people we love. And frankly, there are times when we make fools out of ourselves around the ones we love.

When two people love each other, they feel more comfortable discussing perplexing or challenging problems. They are willing to address the tough issues head on. Why, because they trust each other more than they trust any other human being. They feel comfortable with the one they love. And because their comfort level is so high they often say and do things to each other that are hurtful. But because they love each other and trust each other, does it give them carte-blanche license to say and do whatever they want, even if it is damaging or hurtful? Of course not! But the reality is that it happens and the wounds can be deep. Feelings can be hurt. Relationships strained.

Which leads us to the most important point – love IS having to say you are sorry. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. When you engage in behavior, actions, or words that are hurtful and damaging in your relationship with the one you love you not only should apologize, you MUST do so! In our humble opinion, no two people who profess to love each other can ever take the position that they don’t have to apologize to each other for saying and doing hurtful things. And, never take the position that “Oh, they know I love them. I don’t have to say I’m sorry.” The latter is one of the most egregious of all sins you can commit in your relationship with the one you love—taking them for granted.

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